We’re onto the last week of the month of February already! How’s everyone holding up? I’m quite tired, to be honest. Mostly mentally and emotionally. One of my main problems is not getting in enough alone time every week to recharge.
All I want is some time to myself haha. But, as this post gets published I’m out with my book club and not alone so.. lol. Maybe next week. Hopefully.
I was even more garbage at reading this week than last week. I’m going to reduce my Goodreads challenge for sure at the end of this month.
I read two romance books to pass time, and I’m listening to another one on audiobook right now. It’s mindless reading.
The Thing Around Your Neck is still going on as well, as I’m slowly reading it with a group of people on Instagram.
Another book I’m currently reading as an ebook is an ARC who’s review I have to post later this week. It’s quite good so keep an eye out for that review!
What did I watch last week?
I’m just bingeing episodes of Shark Tank on Netflix lol. I’ve seen the first 6 seasons and few of episodes of season 7, so I’m not missing anything as Netflix only has seasons 7, 8 and 9.
It’s so nice to watch it again. I used to love watching the show and it’s keeping me gripped. The show is actually really nice to watch and I learn a lot of things from it. It’s quite informative in the business point-of-view.
Updates on life!
I paid a visit to the doctor yesterday and I’ve been cleared for surgery. In case you’re a new reader or follower here, I have a neck swelling which is a bronchial cyst. I’ve had it for about a year. A few months back, I ended up in the ER ward due to a common cold which infected the cyst as well. The swelling kept increasing and became painful.
That was when we realized that I HAVE to get a surgery to remove the cyst. But my thyroid levels were too low to go for it.
Now my thyroid levels have increased a bit using meds. Not enough to be in normal range, but it should be okay for general anesthesia. My swelling is staying constant in size now, but it might increase again if I fall sick. And I fall sick very easily.
So we need to do the surgery ASAP. I have to figure out dates with my internship and when I can take off for the surgery. Probably won’t be very soon but sometime in the next few months!
I’ve been BARELY active on Instagram recently, and it’s because I just am not in the mood for using the app. I barely even open the app right now. My motivation for Instagram is coming in waves and… I may stop using it soon? Who knows.
But yeah I haven’t posted on my feed for two weeks and Instagram barely crosses my mind. I don’t open it to engage with others as well.
And that’s it for this week! I know this is way shorter than my usual updates but I don’t have much to say. This past week has been pretty uneventful.
It’s been so long since I’ve posted a life update! I think it’s been about three weeks since my last Sunday post but I didn’t even realize it. The days are going by very fast because all my days are FILLED.
To be honest, I don’t know what exactly to update on but I shall just mention whatever I can think of.
Yes, I’m still doing my internship. But college doesn’t revolve around us students with internships.
For the last semester, we have classes 3 days a week—Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Since I have internship Monday to Friday, I was (fortunately) given permission to skip classes for two days. Attendance on Saturdays is still required, though.
So from now on, I’m officially back on the six day week track.
Yesterday was my first day back in college and also for many of my friends. Most of us are doing internships so it was like a reunion after so long. It was so nice!
Everyone asked each other updates and caught up on lives. Since we’re a big group, we don’t text individually with everyone else. Most interactions and updates happen in groups so it was much needed.
We spent time like old times yesterday. My friend and I, who got into the same company, treated the rest of our friends in Taco Bell since we got our first stipend. And we played card games, which is a classic thing that we do.
So yeah, it was pretty fun.
I was off to a very good start at the beginning of this week. Especially since I got an audiobook subscription a while back.
But my reading just.. slowed down a lot. During the week I barely read. And Loveboat, Taipei which I was listening to as an audiobook was not very enjoyable. It put me off and I just stopped listening to it for a while.
In order to finish it, I picked it up as an ebook in the last few days and skimmed the rest of it. While the ending was good, I just did not have a good time reading it overall.
Other than that, I finished no other books. So yeah, I’m pretty sure I will be reducing my reading goal for the year.
Here’s the reading update on The Thing Around Your Neck:
TV Show & Movie update
I watched so many things recently!
I watching this Kdrama a couple weeks back. Binged it during the weekend, actually. It was actually really nice. I liked the complexity of the concept and it’s very different than the stories I’ve seen around the same concept.
Watched this Kdrama during the week a couple weeks back. It’s 20 episodes long and I was HOOKED the whole time. It’s a brilliant drama in the Dark Academia genre which talks about a ton of things. Complex characters, complex relationships and a very interesting story.
Watched this on Netflix last weekend. I’ve been a real fan of Taylor Swift only in the last year or so, when she started speaking out on things and became more than a regular singer. This movie brought many things from her life to light. It was nice to watch and learn more about her as a person.
P.S. I Still Love You
This sequel to To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before was nice but… I didn’t like it all that much. It wasn’t special. There were a ton of cool plotlines from the book that were scrapped. In fact, almost everything other than the love triangle was scrapped. It made the movie seem to have less substance.
I’m excited to watch the third movie, though. It’s less about new romances and more about life and choices. It should be quite nice.
I watched this series throughout the past week. It’s actually quite small, with only 10 half-hour episodes.
But it packed SO MUCH in those 5 hours. The show is too good, and I have no idea why Netflix cancelled it WITHIN A MONTH of releasing it. That’s such a disappointment.
It’s honestly one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.
I’ve been having small but really good conversations with people recently. Just talking about things and finding out various perspectives. It’s always interesting to see how different people view the same thing.
And I really like conversations where we talk about something in depth, ask each other questions on things and explain perspectives. It helps me understand other people better. I also sometimes learn new things.
So yeah. That’s been the random highlight of last week.
That’s about all I have to say. There have been a ton of small things happening but not interesting enough to share lol.
For a long time, I considered myself the multitasking master.
And I wasn’t alone in thinking this. Many of my friends heralded me on this as well. They’ve asked me “how do you multitask so well?” or “how are you even able to do that?” They would complain about not being able to do the same.
All of that just fed my ego. I was determined to keep multitasking and show off this skill.
But in the last few months I learnt something. It’s not that I’m good at keeping track of multiple things at the same time, or do multiple things just fine with lesser focus. It’s that I learnt what tasks to multitask with.
I came across Jay Shetty’s podcast where he says that most people who think they multitask well, actually don’t. They would do better uni-tasking if they tried it.
So I tried it. I wanted to prove to myself that I’m one of the few who is good at it. And then I found that I’m not actually good at multitasking sometimes.
The key word here is SOMETIMES. At times, multitasking definitely increased my productivity, and other times it decreased my productivity. How do I know when to do what, then?
None of us are taught how to multi-task. None of us are trained on splitting our focus between multiple activities. We learn by trying. But a lot of people give up saying they don’t know how to multitask.
Multitasking is a strategy. It’s a method which, when formed and used well, increases your productivity.
By trial and error, I figured out how to increase my multitasking productivity further. And I’m going to share that with you today.
I will tell you how to get better at multitasking below but first let’s get something straight.
What is multitasking?
Multitasking is the act of doing more than one task at a time.
I know I know, you’re rolling your eyes and saying “that’s obvious”. But there are many different types of multitasking.
You could be multitasking on a small level, by responding to texts when listening to music. Or you could be multitasking on a bigger level, like taking a call when editing a document.
All of us multitask on some level ALL THE TIME. We have multiple thoughts running in our head. As I’m writing this post, I can suddenly remember that I kept the stove on and run to switch it off.
There are tonnes of articles that talk about advantages of multitasking or the disadvantages of multitasking. But there is no conclusion, and that’s because they are all thinking this: either you can multitask, or you can’t.
But that’s not how it is. You CAN multitask. Everyone can.
The problem is finding out at which level our productivity declines. The line of distinction may be different for different people. You have to find out which is yours and work at keeping your productivity high.
Fun fact: multitasking in human behaviour and multitasking in computers is visually similar. In fact, the same terms are often used to describe both. As a computer science student, these similarities are interesting to me.
While the same terms are used for both, the process of multitasking in computers and humans is VERY different. This article by Bryan Braun explains it well.
For the purpose of this post, I’m dividing multitasking activities into TWO CATEGORIES.
Let’s consider an example where you are drinking coffee while reading a book.
The active task is reading the book. You are reading with concentration and absorbing information. It requires considerable attention.
The passive task is drinking coffee. It doesn’t require a lot of attention. In fact, it barely takes away your concentration from the book. You can do this task without actually thinking much.
This multitasking is not hurting anyone, and it’s definitely not distracting you from your book. It’s not reducing your productivity level.
Active-passive multitasking level basically means that a major part of your focus is on ONE ACTIVE TASK. The simultaneous other tasks performed are PASSIVE and don’t require continuous attention, or considerable attention.
Active-passive multitasking is GOOD. If you performed these passive tasks alone, giving them your 100%, you would be under-utilizing your time and energy.
One can argue that doing multiple passive tasks together can also increase productivity, which is true.
But as human beings we generally prioritize when we are multitasking, and we subconsciously make one task as the “active” one, by giving it more attention. That’s why there is no passive-passive multitasking level. It’s always at least active-passive.
Active-active multitasking involves multitasking with MORE THAN ONE “IMPORTANT” TASK. These important tasks are anything that requires considerable mental focus and energy.
Having a conference call while simultaneously making notes is active-active multitasking. Cooking two dishes at once is active-active multitasking. Listening to a podcast while studying is active-active multitasking.
Sometimes active-active multitasking is required, but they are generally NOT GOOD.
Each of the tasks require considerable focus but receive partial focus. This leads to all of these tasks taking longer and not being done well.
If you’ve ever read articles on the topic of multitasking, you might have come across the term “context switching”.
WHAT IS CONTEXT SWITCHING?
Context switching is when you shift your focus from one activity to another.
Here’s an example situation. You’re studying a topic. It has most of your focus, if not all. Then suddenly you realize that you have to send an important email. It will take just 10 minutes. Hence, you hit pause on your studying and “switch” to writing the email. After finishing that, you “switch back” to studying.
The switching between activities takes some amount of energy and concentration. You have to actively hit pause on the first task, remember where to pick it back from, and then shift your focus to the second task.
When you’re multitasking between “active tasks”, your timeline goes like this:
Focus on task 1 –> pause task 1 and remember where to start back from –> get things ready for task 2 –> focus on task 2.
Everything between “focus on task 1” and “focus on task 2” comes under context switching. Context switching involves loss of time and energy.Bryan Braun’s article explains context switching in detail.
Active-Active multitasking involves a lot of content switching. If both or all your tasks take a long time to complete, the cost of context switching is high.
Studies have also shown that getting back to an active task after doing something else requires conscious effort. Returning to your first task after focusing on another task takes around 20 minutes. This is because your concentration was broken and has to be developed again.
The people who have studied multitasking trends in their lives, and what makes them more productive, would say that the best way to multitask is multitasking with the cost of context switching in mind.
So, what IS the key to multitasking?
I wrote a very long introduction to get to this point, but I promise I’m going to bring it all together in this section.
The key to multitasking is a good strategy.
Having a good multitasking strategy can immensely increase your productivity. This strategy includes two things.
And I am going to tell you that strategy in TWO sentences.
Always try to do active-passive multitasking. This is a very easy way to increase productivity. Keep ONE task as your “active” task which will require considerable amount of time and/or energy. Pair it with one or (maximum) two passive tasks. But also make sure that the active tasks here CAN be paused multiple times.
Only do active-active multitasking if it is REQUIRED or the cost of switching is low. Never pair two tasks that require concentration. Context switching WILL be high because your concentration has to be developed again and again. Only pair these when you can’t avoid it, like in work meetings.
And that’s it.
Once you understand what tasks make up active-passive and what are active-active, it will become very easy for you to decide on WHEN to multitask. That is your strategy.
Doing two active tasks alone one after the other will take lesser time than doing them together.
An easy way to pair active-passive activities is pairing audio activities to visual activities. For example, cooking and listening to a podcast, taking a call when doing chores etc.
Examples of active tasks that you SHOULD NOT multitask: studying, writing, working on a project etc. Notice that all of these tasks are ones that require proper concentration and require good results. They have to be done well.
The key to multitasking is being conscious of how you multitask i.e. what tasks you choose to do together.
Once you start consciously understanding what tasks go well together and what don’t, it will become easier to make decisions on multitasking. Eventually, you’ll do it without thought.
Conscious effort is only required at the start.
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Although it had many ups and downs, 2019 was a good year for me.
It was one of the best years I’ve had, and by far the best year of college. Because it was such a memorable year, with tons of happenings, I want to record all the highlights so that I can look back later.
All I could think about during New Year’s Eve, when I was supposed to be studying for the next day’s exam, was 2019 memories. I roughly drafted this post on the morning of 1st Jan during breakfast even though I was supposed to leave for college in 10 minutes. That’s how much I want to record the last year.
Since I have a LOT to recap, I’ll try to keep each point short. Otherwise this post will never end lol.
Medical ups and downs.
My platelet count, which has been low since my first year of college, finally edged back into the normal range. But we suddenly found a swelling on my neck which kept growing. It persisted throughout the year, and caused so many problems.
7 months of gluten-free diet.
I went on a gluten-free diet from April through October, for medical reasons. It was really hard because it cut down most of what I can eat outside, and meant that I mostly only ate at home.
First ER visit & hospitalization.
I was rushed to the hospital Emergency ward in the end of October due to breathlessness, caused by my swelling which suddenly kept increasing. And I stayed in the hospital, hooked up to IV and doing several tests, for three days. I absolutely hated that hospital stay, and hate that hospital now.
My relationship with my dad fractured.
It was barely hanging in the first place. I don’t know if we’ll be able to recover from this, and I’m not sure I want us to.
I cultivated my existing friendships over making new ones.
2018 was all about making new friends and getting out of my shell. But last year I spent a lot of time becoming closer to the friends I had, than reaching out to new people. It’s not to say that I didn’t make new friends, I did, but they’re fewer. My group is a tight-knit tribe now, because all of us spent a lot of time hanging out.
I got a job!
I was very worried about this, and I’m super glad I managed to get a job. My internship there starts this month, and it’s very exciting to think about.
Started choosing brighter colours.
I hated bright colours because they grab attention and I basically wanted to not be seen. Red & yellow were the worst. For many years my favourite colours were brown, dark purple, and then dark shades of blue. But last year, my favourite colour changed to pink. Not only that, but light pink! And I even began buying clothes which are yellow or red. It’s a huge change, which reflects my confidence.
I was open to many new plans.
I met up with tons of new people, and even suggested meetups myself. The most notable are meets with my Bangalore bookstagram club and meeting up with people from my last internship.
Made very many memories.
Especially the small ones. The most cherished times were everyday things from hanging out at our college’s canteen, to playing cards and other things.
Blogging fell to the wayside during multiple months.
I prioritized life things over blogging, and let my blog go without new posts for months together. The worst part was that I didn’t even read other blogs much during the time. By the end of that spell, I was disappointed in myself for doing that. While my priority choices were right, I could have put more effort into blogging.
Very many personal posts.
When I started blogging, I did a lot of personal posts but as I immersed into the blogging world, I restricted most of my posts to the bookish zone. Inadvertently, I put myself into a niche even though I didn’t want that. 2019 changed that, because I had SO MANY THINGS to talk about and wanted to share my life with everyone.
Hit 1.5k followers, 50k total views, and 700 total posts.
Achievements and milestones!!!
Struggled to decide where I want to go with this blog.
Since I was being irregular, I was confining myself to keep it as just a hobby. But I also have the dream of making it a side hustle, which will take a lot of work. It’s very exciting to think of. But in 2019, I was very undecided throughout the year.
My blog started coming up high in search engines!
In fact, the most number of views this blog currently receives is from search engines. Few of my posts have become really popular, I don’t know how, and garner so many views.
Engagement from the WordPress community reduced.
I’m not able to pinpoint why, but the engagement from WordPress reader has considerably reduced from past years. That’s quite sad because they’re my original reader base, and the ones I used to interact a lot with.
I was only doing short themes, but in 2019 I tried outdoor photos, themeless feed and I did some experimenting with the posts. 2019 was also the year when I first put up my face on the account, which I had never done before.
Struggled a lot with motivation.
Especially because of the engagement drop in Instagram. It was very discouraging and it made me want to give up on my bookstagram multiple times. I even did a whole post with my thoughts on Instagram.
I considered monetizing it, but signing up on paypal gave me issues as it wasn’t accepting my ID. And somewhere during the beginning of 2019, I didn’t feel very inclined towards that account, and my activity went down. It took a backseat to @thewordyhabitat, and I wholly regret that.
My twitter was just… I don’t know.
I started being more active there, and started using Hootsuite to schedule promo tweets for the blog. But otherwise, I’m just enjoying seeing my twitter feed over actually putting content there myself.
Struggled to find my place in social media, overall.
My goals and my vision for my social media was completely unclear. I just kept doing something, but in my head, the end picture was not formed at all.
This year, I have some sense of direction because I figured out what I want to do, mostly. I have goals and action plans, and hopefully it will lead to the right end vision.
My lab finals are over!!! I am done with ALL MY LABS IN COLLEGE. In Engineering. I. am. done. We don’t have any labs to take next semester, so I’m super glad. To be honest, the labs weren’t all that bad, but some labs were pretty difficult. Good to see it all done with.
While I’m done with my labs, theory is still left. Theory finals start tomorrow and while I’m nervous, I also want time to go by really quick and be done with them. The sad part is that my finals go on for a while. The last final is on the 1st of Jan. Yes, no holidays for Christmas and no scope for a New Year’s Eve celebration. Also no real celebration for my birthday. But, this is the last year we have to deal with this. After this year, no more exams during holidays and birthdays*. Woohoo!
*can you tell that I’m waiting for college to end?
Y’all. I do not remember Blogmas being this hard. The last time I did it was also when I had finals in college, but I remember it as this easy breezy thing! I guess we can attribute it being harder now to the fact that I spend a lot more time on every blog post than I used to.
The one thing that has kept me going is planning. I am making sure I plan out my next blogging steps every single day. This has helped me blog two posts on some days, allowing me to take off on other days.
In the last few days, I’ve been super charged on blogging and planning to schedule blog posts in advance so that my final on 19th doesn’t get affected. The subject on that day is pretty hard* and I struggle with it. Need to give it all my attention, so I cannot worry about blogging.
So my routine has become blogging and studying, with breaks in the middle for reading and Netflix.
*only half the students passed last year. whelp.
On another note, is it just me or is there lesser interactivity during blogmas this time? I remember in 2017, and even 2018, the hype and talk about blogmas was SO MUCH. Bloggers were constantly blog-hopping and commenting and making new friends. While I didn’t participate last year, I still went around checking out a lot of blogs. That cheer and interaction seems to be missing this time.
One of the reasons blogmas is helpful for bloggers is because it brings in a lot of traction and gives more exposure to blogs. It’s an event where, if you participate, your blog will certainly grow and you’ll get more views during the event. But this time, I’m noticing lesser traction than even on other months. And I know it’s not just my blog because I’ve been noticing a lack of comments on other blogs as well when I blog-hop.
So yeah, that’s saddening to see.
WHAT I READ
Would Like to Meet by Rachel Winters. This book was on my radar before it’s release because it sounds so good, and it had some hype amongst the romance readers. I was not disappointed AT ALL. This book is super cute, has a very new plotline which I haven’t seen before, and it gave me all the good feels.
I reread Rock Solid by Carly Phillips and Erika Wilde because I was in the mood for a feel-good book but without any suspense because I needed to get back to studying. Exam times are usually when I reread books because I’m guaranteed to love them and since I know how they end, I’m not compelled to say “just one more chapter” instead of studying.
Other than the Goodreads Reading challenge, I also do the A-Z Reading Challenge every year. This year I was SO CLOSE without consciously trying, with 24 out of 26 letters done. The left over letters were Q and Y, and I thought I’d quickly finish them up so I can complete this challenge for the first time EVER.
The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman is a short story which I already had on a recommendation, but didn’t read yet even though I’ve had it for a long time. Since it’s short and fits the prompt, I finally read it. It was a very interesting and insightful read.
The last book I read was Queen of Nothing by Holly Black. I was planning on reading this anyway but I read it earlier to finish the challenge. Since I read it very fast, I didn’t have time to analyze things as I read. I thought I liked it when I finished the book, but once I started discussing with a friend and actually thought about it, my opinions changed.
While the plot was good, I hated the ending and the book felt quite rushed. My friend and I agree that it could have been done much better because The Wicked King had set up everything perfectly. This book was a let-down after The Wicked King.
WHAT I WATCHED
Meal times are when I actually spend time watching Netflix. So thrice a day I open Netflix to watch one episode every time. Since it’s exam time and I need to NOT have a binge-able show*, I needed a show which didn’t have continuity.
Enter Tiny House Nation. Interiors-based show sounded like a good option, plus I love aesthetics. I started it a couple weeks back and it’s REALLY GOOD. Without realizing, I finished it a couple days back and I was SO SAD. It’s too good a show and I wish it had many more episodes.
After Tiny House Nation, I needed another such show to watch. I considered going back to Queer Eye, which I stopped in season 2. But the episode that I started with was intense and I need no emotions. The intensity reminded me that almost every episode of Queer Eye made me cry before, and hence I stopped it again.
On a friend’s insistence, I started Sugar Rush yesterday. It’s good, but the episodes feel very draggy and too long, even though they’re the same duration as Tiny House Nation episodes. It’s just not as captivating. I’ll give it a few more chances and then see if I should find a new show.
*I’m a huge binge-watcher and won’t leave until I finish the show if it has continuity.
While I did plan out most of the days for blogmas, I left a few to spontaneous posts, and today is one of them. When I was blogging consistently and putting out three posts a week a long time back, the one thing I missed was spontaneous blog posts. I nailed down the planning and scheduling part, but it meant that every post of mine was written at least a week in advance, leaving me no room for current updates posts.
Lifestyle posts are some of my favourite. I really love just typing casually like I’m having a conversation with y’all. And if we were having tea is perfect because it’s what I would be telling you if we were having tea together in person. I suggest getting a hot tea while reading this, because I’m drinking tea while writing this and it’ll complete the whole vibe haha.
If we were having tea…you would see me bundled up in multiple layers and struggling to breathe because I’m sick. The last time I fell sick, I ended up in the ER because my throat infection triggered my swelling to grow in a very fast rate. Doctors specifically told me to NOT. FALL. SICK. until my surgery is done. But, my immunity system is horrible so I’m sick again.
I went to the doctor ASAP and got meds, and I’m being very careful about exposing myself to the cold now. It’s been about a week now, and while I’m better than before, my cold shows no sign of reducing. Sigh. The tea we’re having definitely helps. Hot drinks are saviours for my nose and throat.
Now, every time I go out, I wear a full sleeved thick top, a wool sweater above it, a wool scarf, and a beanie. All of it to keep myself very warm. But hey, I’m using this to constantly wear my Ravenclaw beanie haha.
If we were having tea… I’d complain about the weather being SO COLD. It’s freezing in the mornings! I live in Bangalore, and we’re known for having consistently gloomy weather and light showers throughout the year. But this year, the summer was actually hot and there was no rain. The trade off is that the winter is colder than ever, which is not good for all of us because we’re used to pleasantly cold winters. Not freezing cold winters.
To properly understand how our weather is throughout the year, you should notice our wardrobes. We have normal clothes, and a few jackets. Light ones for summer and spring, thicker ones for the winter. But our thick ones are nowhere near to the actual thick jackets people in other areas wear. We don’t have summer and winter clothes! It’s all the same! Which is why I’m struggling with this winter. I have a total of 1 woolen sweater, and its not even that thick.
If we were having tea… I’d tell you that my final exams started. I finished one of my lab finals yesterday, and it was the hardest lab I’ve ever had. I’m so glad it’s done. I have the next one on 10th (yeah we have HUGE gaps, it’s kind of annoying because our exams go on for a month). After that, my theory finals start on the 16th. I haven’t started studying for my theory at ALL, and considering how many classes I missed this semester, I really should start studying.
If we were having tea… you would hear about my reading. I’ve been in a huge reading slump, and I read only 2 books last month. I was actually quite ahead on my Goodreads reading challenge, but I’m quite behind now. I have 11 books left to reach my goal, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to complete the goal. With exams, and blogging every day for Blogmas, not much time is left to read 11 whole books. This might become the first time I don’t reach my reading goal.
But. I am attempting to get as close to my goal as possible. Last night, I started reading The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi. For the last few month, the books I’ve been reading have been adult and mostly romance. I’ve lost touch with the YA world, especially YA fantasy which used to be my favourite genre. I really miss it so I’m trying to dive back into it now.
If we were having tea… I’d share a new lofi mix with you. I came across it on YouTube without even looking for lofi mixes, but it’s SO GOOD. I found it two days back, when I was studying for my exam, and it’s helped so much. The whole time I was studying and revising, this song was playing and helping with my concentration. Even the title is so nice! Also the artwork is pretty cool.
If I were to pick a time of the day/night to listen to this, I’d say very early morning. I woke up at 5:30am yesterday and was revising with this music. It was perfect. The comments section is also really nice.
If we were having tea… I’d say that I’m looking forward to 2020. While 2019 has been good for me in many ways, which does not include health, I’m more excited about what’s to come. 2020 is the year I’ll graduate from college, and start working. It’s the year when I’ll get some independence with respect to money, and be able to start taking care of my mum instead of the other way round. Right now, I feel like I’m in a limbo. We’re in a house we don’t like, and we want to move but we’re waiting for me to graduate. I’m in college but all I can think about is how my work life will be. Especially since I already have a job lined up, which also gives me a paid internship starting next month until I graduate, I’ve almost left college behind.
My friends have started being nostalgic, and while I can relate, my thoughts are towards the future. I’ve always been like that. I enjoy the present, think about the future, and only become nostalgic of a farther past. I started becoming nostalgic about high school only two years after I finished it. While I don’t know about college nostalgia, I do know that I’m not someone to be nostalgic in advance. Some of my friends miss the current day while we’re still having fun. They’re like I’m going to miss this so much, when we technically still have 6 months of college left!
All I can think about is the new decade, and all the changes and opportunities it’ll bring.
If we were having tea in person right now, what would you tell me?
It’s been exactly two weeks since my last blog post, and I had promised to blog more in that post. Ha. What a joke.
So, what’s been happening? Why am I just disappearing into the void without a peep on Instagram or Twitter as well? It’s because of my health. Two days after my last post, on 29th October, I was rushed to the emergency ward for breathlessness. I couldn’t breathe unless I was lying on my back. Even if I managed the breathlessness for a while, my head started hurting BAD every time I lifted it.
My swelling had increased in the night to the point that it was pushing on my throat, causing the breathing problems. It was also so heavy that it was pulling at my head when I sit up, causing headaches.
We rushed to the hospital where we consulted the ENT doctor before, but after reaching there we found that ALL DOCTORS WERE OFF. What hospital gives a public holiday???? I had to be admitted due to my breathing, and once I was started on antibiotics I couldn’t keep ANY food in me. That sucked too. I was puking everything up within an hour.
I have so much more to say about that 3 day hospital stay, but I’ve complained about it to my friends enough and I’ll spare y’all the details. It was a BAD experience, though.
Fast forward two weeks to today. I’ve been to two other hospitals, and consulted a few other speacialist doctors. We decided that I need to get a surgery ASAP, and it will be under general anesthesia. But for that, my thyroid levels need to be in range. Now, that’s a problem again. Although I don’t have hyperthyroid anymore (new discovery!! my T4 level is back to normal!!), my thyroid stimulating hormone level is still VERY LOW. No doctor is able to figure out why, and I’ve just been taking tests and more tests for it. I just want to get the surgery done at this point. Sigh.
I also have a lot of work to do for college, barring studying. I haven’t attended classes in two weeks, haven’t done any assignments and haven’t worked on my projects. I’m so behind on everything, and I need to get a LOT of work done before I go in for my surgery (which will probably be in a week?).
To be honest, I could have at least done assignments, but one thing was stopping me. When I was in the hospital, they gave me antibiotics through an IV line at my right hand. The large number of injections and the continuous drips caused the back of my right hand to swell up badly. We changed the IV canula to my left hand, but it was pretty late. I couldn’t bend my fingers or grip anything. It took until YESTERDAY for me to make a loose fist. I tried writing yesterday and I barely got through 200 words before my hand was strained. I couldn’t grip the pen properly. And we do all our assignments by hand (yes, I know, what a stupid rule).
I will attempt to write again today. I also have to work on my projects because deadlines are approaching fast, and I have nothing done. And neither have my teammates done anything, don’t ask me why though. I was under the impression that they would do something but apparently not. This is why I hate working in teams 🙂 And this is the one semester I need my teams in place.
So. That was the update on the physical health front. What about my mental health? Well, I’m hanging in there. Barely, but I’m surviving. I’ve been spending all my free time either watching something. I don’t know why, but I haven’t been able to read much. I haven’t felt like reading either. I’m in a huge reading slump, and I don’t know if I’m even close to getting out of it.
The one thing I’m really unable to do right now, is recharge mentally. I grew up with a lot of time to myself, and an abundance of “space”. Both my parents worked and I would be alone at home for long periods of time. As I grew up, I got used to and I started relying on that alone time. I need time to myself to recharge, without anyone around me to comment or make conversation with. I need time where I don’t have to keep up a positive pretense. And mostly, I require the time to cry if needed. A good cry helps a lot.
But lately, I’ve not had one second to myself. My mum has retired from her job, which means she’s home all the time. She’s even let go of her social activities to take care of me. And while I really appreciate it, the lack of space is getting to me. My mum’s overprotective of me. Even if I itch my leg in front of her, she asks me what happened, what’s wrong. And I also don’t want to burden her with my sadness through all this, because she worries enough herself. I can’t get her more down, so I’ve been the more positive person. And it’s taxing me. I’m at the last straw and I just… want some time alone so I can properly cry or read a book or ANYTHING. But alone.
I doubt it’ll happen, though. Mum’s not leaving me alone unless she has to, and since we’re back to living with my dad, he’s at home a majority of the time as well. He’s of no help to me or has no concern of me, but he’s home which means I still can’t do whatever I want. I usually have to retreat to the bedroom when he’s home, so that makes me feel even more trapped.
Fun times, eh?
Through the last few harrowing weeks, the one thing I’ve been able to count on is support from my friends. Y’all. I cannot even elaborate on HOW HELPFUL my amazing friends have been. They’re always there with emotional and physical support, always ready to help when I ask, and they’re keeping up to date with my tests and everything. I’ve called upon them several times now, because it’s hard to manage running around in hospitals with just my mum. I was no use physically and mentally, and my mum couldn’t do everything alone. My friends stepped in to help and that made so much difference.
Anyway! On to other things.
I’m trying my best to get back into reading. I remembered only yesterday that I have a blog tour coming up this week and I HAVEN’T EVEN READ THE BOOK YET! Welp. I need to finish it ASAP and write a review for the tour. I’m definitely doing that, so you’ll definitely see me soon.
The hectic two weeks with a bad right hand also meant that I couldn’t bullet journal. My bujo is frozen in time at 27th October. I haven’t been able to set up for November, and I’m unsure if I even will at this point. I’m so not up to spending energy on one more thing, and won’t unless I HAVE to.
On the blogging front, I do have ideas but I don’t have the energy to spend on blog posts. It took me two days of mental preparation to write this blog post. Trust me, I’m tired already. I still haven’t gone back to my normal self who doesn’t need naps every day and can run around all day. So, will I be blogging thrice a week like I was doing last month? I don’t know. My stats are taking a huge hit due to the lack of posts, but it’s not a priority right now. I’ll need to work back to it after my finals, because my finals will start right after I’ve recovered from surgery. It’s going to be a hectic two months.
It’s been a wild three weeks, y’all. And by wild I just mean hectic.
I actually took a couple weeks off blogging spontaneously. I didn’t feel like posting and my motivation to blog was at a low. I also had many things happening in real life so I didn’t find much time.
In fact, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t used my bullet journal other than to update trackers once every few days. My dailies stopped after 10th of the month or something.
I am currently sick. Last night saw me with a high fever. I honestly don’t know why I’m trying to blog with an incoming headache but this is apparently how we’re doing things. Apologies for no structured content and possibly sentences that don’t make sense. I might also rant because I’ve been in a ranty mood the last few days.
My health has been really bad in the past week. My doctor and I worked really hard to bring down the swelling on the side of my throat (I’ve spoken about this a lot in my previous life updates or sunday posts). In fact, for a month or so it was barely seen. We just had to work a little harder, and I had to stick to the medicines and it would have gone within a month.
It has increased again, to the highest it ever was before. (At least my new haircut helps in hiding it. Small silver lining.) This happened because I got a really bad throat infection, which affected that area since it is also on my throat. In ONE week, it has increased and become a hard mass again and I’m tired of this body. I’m tired. I have three more pressing health matters, one of which requires me to intentionally reduce my immunity and this SUCKS.
And the reason why I got throat infection and fever, you ask? My mum and I shifted house and moved in with dad. I don’t think I mentioned that we lived separately? Who knows. But yeah, we’ve lived apart for over a year and mum and I decided to give dad another chance and moved in with him. Bad decision.
We shifted last Sunday and in the one week I’ve been here, my body has taken so much. I’ve gotten throat infection thrice, fever twice, and my swelling started increasing like no tomorrow on Monday. This can be attributed to the fact that this house is very cold and my dad only has granite furniture which means I’m always cold, but it’s also because he has 0 consideration for my health and things are shitty.
Anyway. Moving on.
Even though my mum and I moved out of our old home, we still have it until the end of this month. As a last hurrah, I called over two groups of friends from college to chill and hangout there.
The first group, consisting of the people I used to hang out with most back in first year of college, came on Friday. I was disappointed that half of them bailed out last minute, and few of them didn’t even bother letting me know until I called them to ask where they are. And the people who did come were late, which left me to spend 3 hours in that house alone with disappointment. Fun.
Out of the 13 people who had to come, only 6 showed up. I had a good time after they arrived, though. The friends who showed up were damn sweet and considerate about my health. We had fun. It was nice.
The second group, which is the one that I primarily hang out with now, came on Saturday. My current group is actually damn huge. I didn’t realize until I started inviting everyone and made a group chat. There were totally 16 people invited, and 15 showed up! That’s a huge win, especially considering the previous day.
These friends even showed up on time, and let me know where they are and if they’ll be late. I was not disappointed for even a minute. I had a LOT of fun yesterday. We took up the whole living room floor (which I covered up with a mat and three different blankets because it was cold). For the first time, so many of my friends were at my place, and it felt glorious. We ordered food for lunch and played games. It was really fun.
For the last hour before everyone left, we spent time discussing and planning for a trip that we want to go on next week. My mum allowed me for the trip a few weeks back when I had asked, but my health was much better then. Now if I fall sick, it’ll be really bad, so I’m not sure if it’s wise for me to go on the trip. I really want to, though. It’ll take at least three months for the swelling to go down halfway, and a year for it be healed (assuming everything goes okay). I can’t halt my life because of it. I’ve also never been on a trip with my friends, and my mum has never taken me on vacation trips all my life because we kept visiting family. (Let’s not talk about dad)
So yeah, I REALLY want to go. I have to be very careful about my health, especially while travelling because it’s monsoon season and my immunity is bad.
Shifting to this house has also put me quite a distance away from the park where I used to exercise. There’s no other park around as well. The problem is that if it starts raining, I can’t come back very fast. And Bangalore rains are known for spontaneously pouring. Hence, my daily exercise is taking a hit.
Oh I also found out that I lost a bit of weight! My jeans have become pull-on jeans now lol. I’m not sure if I should be happy that I lost weight (I’m a liiitle on the heavy side, but in range for my height), or if I should be worried. Worried because I have hyperthyroid, and weight loss is a symptom of the disease. People with hyperthyroid lose weight a LOT. This is also the first time I’m losing weight after almost 2 years. I was constant before. I don’t know what to think. It also could be because of my gluten free diet and exercise but *shrug*.
Sudden change of topic, but the song I’m currently listening to while blogging is TOO GOOD. I think I may have shared it in one of my songs spotlights but I’m just loving it soo much right now? It’s the exact vibe I need right now.
I think I don’t have anything else to say today. I know for sure that I had a LOT to talk about, but I’m tired right now and I just want to cry to Malibu Nights 🙂
I had my last two tests on Monday. Our tests had been going on for over a week and I was ready to be done. One was good and the other was okay-ish. Just glad that it got done.
GIRLS DAY OUT
It’s very generous to say “day” because it was only a few hours after our last test, but we did chill out. A couple of my friends and I went to a tea place nearby called “Infinitea” and tried a tea flavour called Tropical Delight. It was pretty good. It was an experience. The tea was bitter/sour in the beginning and as I reached the bottom of my cup, it became sweeter. The last sip was very sweet.
We were too broke to afford the food in that place so we headed out and had some good street food. It had been long since I had street food so that was cool too.
ONE DAY TRIP
I headed to another city for just a day with my mum and uncle. We had to do some pooja (religious ritual) for my maternal grandparents who have passed away. It was damn tiring and I had absolutely no sleep.
We took an overnight train there, did the pooja through the day, and took an overnight train back. We also had to fast until the ritual was done so we didn’t eat until 3pm, by which we were COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED and I just wanted to come home. Oof.
We reached back home at 7 in the morning, after which I actually decided to go to college. Yes, I know. How stupid. No sleep for two nights (I can’t sleep well in trains), and I decide to go to college by 8:30am. But yeah, I did that.
I was super exhausted by the end of the day.
If you have been following me for over a year, and reading my life updates, you might know that I organized a couple hackathons. We decided to have another, and better, one this semester as well. And we chose this weekend.
We went bigger this time and kept the hackathon for a total of 42 hours! The hackathon started on Friday evening and will end this afternoon.
As I’m writing this, it’s 2:12 am because I’m staying overnight at college. The event has been going for about 30 hours now and everyone’s TIRED. The participants and the organizers. Everyone’s sleepy and exhausted. It’s seen on our faces. We can’t wait to go home lol. We need proper rest and proper sleep on actual beds. Many of my friends aren’t able to speak in proper sentences anymore.
I’m glad that this hackathon is going much better than our previous two, though. We actually improved. I wasn’t totally involved this time since I decided to step back and focus on other things. The rest of the team did a DAMN GOOD JOB. The event is going pretty good. There are a few problems, as always, but they’re manageable.
We just had a very tiring mentoring session which ran from 4:30 pm to 12:00 am. No I am not kidding. 50 teams, 5 mentors, and each had to talk to at least 3 mentors. That ate up time like nothing else.
We, the organizers, actually planned to have a small session of mock pitches so we can help the participants with their pitches. It was supposed to start at midnight but because the mentoring session ran VERY long, we scrapped it from the schedule for now. We may do it later but it depends on whether we have energy. (I doubt we will.)
Any free time I got in the nights, I either blogged or I worked on my project with my friends. I admit, I couldn’t do much because of the trip and the hackathon prep, but I did help a little bit. I found pockets of free time for that. Even if I wasn’t doing actual work, I was THINKING about it and that was enough to make me more tired. And we only had to make a presentation this time! Imagining the amount of work we have coming up… sigh.
I’m getting a new phone!!!!!!!!!!
I’m REALLY in need of one, y’all. My phone is horrid in terms of battery, has a very slow processing speed, and I don’t know how I’m surviving with this camera. My main problem is the battery and processing, though. I click tap an icon and have to wait for a bit for it to open. It’s annoying.
My dad offered to get me a new phone and I JUMPED on the chance. I spent a couple weeks scoping out phones and taking suggestions from people. The Samsing M30s released in my country on 18th Oct, and I was sold. 6000mAh battery, y’all. That had me sold.
One of my friends has the same phone as me and is facing the same issues as me. He really needs a new phone as well so both of us decided to get the M30s. We’re going from being Moto G4 plus buddies to Samsung M30s buddies, lol.
The phone went on sale TODAY at noon for Amazon prime customers, and we both were WAITING for it. We were worried that it would sell out fast because it’s a brilliant phone for the price. Almost too good to be true. Hence, we were on the Amazon page from 11:50 am.
The phones are arriving today sometime and I. CAN’T. WAIT. The anticipation is real. I really hope it arrives after I get home today evening because I don’t know how I will hold myself back from running home for it.
I honestly can’t wait to not carry around a power bank and not charge my phone at least twice a day. The one thing I’m SUPER excited about is a better camera. I’m getting a 48MP primary camera which is AWESOME. What an upgrade.
I think I’ve written enough in this post, so I won’t talk about the books I read this week. I don’t think it was much anyway.
I’ll probably need a whole day of rest after this week to re-energize. I haven’t caught up on my missing sleep, and I’m not sleeping a wink tonight. I’m actually quite energetic now since I’ve decided that I’m not going to sleep. If I make up my mind in advance, I can manage. (In fact, I didn’t sleep during the last hackathon as well.) Mondays classes will most likely be missed. I. need. sleep.
How was your week? Did anything monumental happen? Tell me!
I lost my exercising routine at the beginning of this month. I didn’t go for a whole week! It took me a couple days to get back into the groove but I’ve been working on it last week and I’m back to my exercise routine. I’m also exercising just a little harder everyday to make up for my cheat week.
Maintaining a healthy exercise routine is the one thing that I easily lose. I tried for years but I never tried hard enough. After finding out that my health is in a bad state this year, which lead to me cutting off 70% of the foods I eat and taking meds, I was finally determined to keep fit. As of now, I’ve been exercising almost daily for 7 months and I still find it hard to get back into the routine after just a few days of break.
The other notable thing from last week is that I went out with two of my closest friends from college. We had a day off on Tuesday due to a festival and spontaneously decided to meet up in a random cafe. It was really nice to just hang out and talk for a while. Having college six days a week zaps out the energy from all of us that we don’t try to meet up outside and chill. But it was much needed.
The week ended with tests which I had yesterday. I had tests for two subjects, one went really bad and the other went pretty good. Fingers crossed the ones I have this week go well!
what I played
This is a completely new section because I usually DON’T play anything. A lot of my friends in college are gamers and I’ve been hearing gaming talk for two years now. It was mostly about Dota, though. I tried Dota once but gave up after only a couple bot games. I just wasn’t interested. I think the amount of talk on Dota going on around me all day put me off the game. Contradictory, but true.
Recently, my friends have shifted from Dota to League of Legends. I decided to try it as well. A couple things together got me interested in trying. 1) I found out that my bias from BTS also plays League of Legends and likes it, and 2) the MUSIC IS AWESOME. I’ve heard quite a few songs from the game’s long list of soundtracks and it’s so cool. While watching the music videos, I became interested in the characters as well.
So yeah, I started playing League of Legends in the last week. I haven’t played it much, but I think I’m warming up to it. After the couple games, I took 5 days to muster up the enthusiasm to play again. When I did, I played alone with strangers online, without my friends teaching me things over Discord, and it was so much better! I could concentrate and truly give a shot. Since then, I’ve played a lot of games and I’m starting to get the hang of it.
what I read
It’s high time I tried to read more non-fiction books and improve my knowledge. I started reading Educated by Tara Westover, a memoir so it’s easier to get into non-fiction. I’m not liking it a lot and it’s pretty slow, so I’m crawling through it. But I’m determined to finish it.
I’m also reading The Silva Mind Control Method by José Silva, which my friend lent me saying that I would really take to it and benefit from it. This book will take me months to truly finish because it instructs on using your mind to improve your life. The author recommends reading the book first and then trying every chapter’s methods one by one, so that’s what I’m doing.
Since I just cannot read only non-fiction without losing my mind, I’ve been reading a few short romance books in between. While looking for books to read, I found out that several authors joined and wrote a book each set in Aurora Rose Reynolds’s Until series’ world, so of course I HAD to try some of them. These books have the same vibes and also have cameos of characters from the Until series.
I read Until Mani by Rochelle Paige which was actually really nice! I quite liked it. Then Until I Make You Mine by Jenika Snow, which I did NOT like. I tried a couple more books as well but I stopped reading them only a few chapters in because they were NOT GOOD. Not sure if I’ll try anymore.
what I watched
I didn’t watch anything during the week. I simply did not have the enthusiasm to watch. I didn’t open Netflix at all.
But I did start something this afternoon! I started watching Love Alarm on Netflix. It’s a Kdrama starring Kim So-hyun (whom I’ve seen in a few other Kdramas and whom I really like). I was initially hesitant to watch it because 1) it has a love triangle, which I hate, and 2) I just wasn’t interested in the story line. But I felt like starting something new and decided, why not. It’s short.
What about Regin and Queer Eye, which I was watching earlier, you ask? Well, looks like I get bored with shows if they’re too long. I miss the shortness of Kdramas. I can binge them in a day or two and be done. I will watch Queer Eye and Reign, but later. Hopefully soon.
How was your week? What did you do? Did you read anything or watch anything?
Books are what define me, at this point. I’ve been reading hardcore since I was in 6th grade, which was 10 years back! I’ve read so many books, and I’ve learnt so much from them. I’m known as the reader amongst my friends. Sure, there are a few others who read but none like me.
I put aside everything else to read. I read every spare moment I can. When I’m not reading, I talk about books. This blog is majorly about books, and I even have a bookstagram! If you asked my friends to tell one thing which defines me, they’d say books. They’d say that books are my life and I literally do not do anything else.
While I’m happy with my books, I do wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t read so much. What would I do? What would fill my days and nights? It’s a huge question mark. I cannot even remember how life was before I started reading, and I can’t imagine my future without books.
I read a post by Cotton Candy Book Witch on things she could do if she wasn’t reading, and it inspired to make my own list.
If I don’t read, I could…
Do an online course.
I’m being very academic and very college student, but it’s true. I’ve done a few online courses, but I’m actually in the middle of TWO MORE. But I have had zero progress on them recently because I don’t “find the time”. Basically, I choose reading over them.
If I didn’t read all the time, I could do online courses and learn so much more. Especially courses for my field. I really am interested in doing courses but I need some drive which makes me complete them. If I didn’t read books, I really think that I would spend time learning.
I am NOT into games. I barely even play mobile games. I used to be really into Wizard 101 back in 5th grade but I stopped it after a few months. Once I started reading, I haven’t touched a video game. A lot of my friends are gamers, and really enjoy it. I actually did try Dota once. I played a few bot games. But I didn’t like it, and I never felt like playing it again.
I stepped into video game waters again recently, this time I tried League of Legends. I played maybe four bot games. It’s not bad, but I again didn’t REALLY like it. I can see that it involves a lot of strategy and fast reflexes, but that’s not enough to get me to want to play it again. At least, not yet. I’ve decided that I’ll try a few more times before making a decision on giving up or continue playing.
I still prefer reading over playing. If I didn’t read, I might give a proper chance to gaming.
I used to be very artsy. Painting was my favourite. In high school, I got into sketching. But sketching lasted a very short time since I was a HARD CORE READER then. I’d finish one book every two days. That left very less time for me to spend on art.
I believe that I still am artsy, or have the knack for art and design. But I don’t want to try more to make it a hobby. I do what little artsy things I can in my bullet journal, and that’s it. Compared to my primary school self who painted every two days and tried new things, I do absolutely nothing today.
And I think I’d really enjoy making art. I simply don’t take out the time for it.
If you don’t know, I’m a computer science and engineering student. Coding was not my first love like books, but I did take to it pretty fast. I remember learning programming for the first time in 11th grade, seeing words pop up the screen like I wanted them to, and it gave me a heady rush. I LOVED IT. I loved that I could make the computer do things, and that I could make small programs for myself.
Obviously, I can do a lot more now. I’m in my last year of college so it would be embarrassing if I didn’t lol.
If I didn’t read all the time, I would spend more time on competitive coding competitions or spend time on coding platforms online. I don’t do it regularly, but I do code VERY FEW TIMES. I enjoy coming up with solutions and trying again. I especially love coming up with many forms of logic and discussing about them with others. It’s definitely something I would spend my time on as a hobby/priority.
Go Out More
It’s true! I was very introverted before I started reading novels. But at least I wanted to be more social then. Since I started reading books, I substituted them in place of friends and a social life. For YEARS I did not seek social gatherings. I was happy at home reading.
I still am happy with my books by my own, but I recognize the importance of having a social life. I try more now. But, it’s still not as much. Until today, I prefer staying at home and reading than going out and visiting new places. My books gave me comfort and I’ve been choosing to stay in my comfort zone. There are so many places I want to visit, especially cafes and eateries in my city, but I barely go out!
It’s been better in the last year. I’ve spent a lot of quality time with people outside and have actually ventured to propose plans with other people. I doubt that I’ll choose going out over reading in the future, but I will be somewhere in between.
And I think that’s it??? Its so hard to think about what I would do if I didn’t read! It’s all I know now. Reading has also brought me so many different types of hobbies (blogging, bookstagram, twitter, tumblr) and has introduced me to amazing people online.
Almost every aspect of my daily life has books in it somehow. Thinking about what I could do without books is truly hard. I only came up with 5 points! How disappointing.
It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged freely. It’s been only reviews been review and properly structured posts for a while. Back in 2016, I used to make random posts and just blabber, and it felt so freeing!
Ever since I started thinking about polishing up my blog posts and putting up only good content, I’ve started blogging less since I’m putting more effort into every post. I’ve also stopped posting rambles, which is kinda sad because this is one of my favourite things about blogging.
The whole reason why I refused to highly niche my blog is because I loved the aspect of just posting whatever I want. Whether it is books, bullet journalling, kdramas or even life updates. And I’ll be honest, life updates are very cathartic* to write. I don’t mind the thousand words I sometimes write because it flows effortlessly, and it’s the only type of blog posts which I don’t always structure.
By not writing these posts, I also miss out on cataloguing so much of my life. I sometimes go back and read these personal posts and become nostalgic because I’m pretty much writing down the important things. I want to keep writing so that I can come back and read about these days again.
This post is going to be completely non-structured (meaning, I’m just gonna type and not rearrange later) and I’m just going to talk about what I want to, even if I digress.
*If you haven’t ever written a personal blog post where you’ve just typed without worrying about how it looks etc., I highly suggest you try it at least once. You don’t have to publish it, but just write it.
Random thing #1
First of all, I’m so glad that I’ve FINALLY FIGURED OUT how to properly format using HTML on the Gutenberg WordPress editor. I’ve tried before but I never took out the time to experiment and try a bunch of things that I may want to use.
I sat down to write a review on An Ember in the Ashes the other day and I wanted to try a new reviewing format/structure because I’d been using the same format for a long time. I also wanted to format and play around with colours. I spent almost an hour just playing around and experimenting. It took a long time to write the review but it looks really good and I’m super happy with the result
Random thing #2
My favourite colour has officially changed from blue to pink. Blue has been my favourite colour for over three years now. At some point, my wardrobe was 3/4th blue. Everyone around me teased me about it. But for the last few months, I’ve been gradually picking pink over blue. Right now, I’m blindly just going for pinks even if blue is available. I’m especially loving pastel pink, light pink and blush pink.
It’s been a while since I had a change of favourite colour so I think I’ll enjoy this! I got this really cute light pink hat recently and I just want to wear it ALL. THE. TIME. I love it.
Random thing #3
My finals are here! Well, almost. My first exam is on 14th June and even though I have only 6 exams, my uni has stretched the dates so that my last exam is on 3rd July. That’s three weeks of JUST STUDYING. I will be feeling guilty if I do anything else for three weeks. It’s gonna be fun.
I will most likely be super tired and stressed by the end of it. I also may not be able to blog much, and that’s sad because I just got back to blogging semi-regularly. Sigh.
Random thing #4
My body is giving me SO MANY PROBLEMS. Can it stop already?! At this point, I don’t want to do any tests because with every test, I find out there’s something more wrong with my body. And I’ve done a lot of tests so far.
Let’s put it in a list to make it easier:
Last I checked in Oct 2018, I had mild hyperthyroid. I went for an ultrasound scan for my neck last week for something else and they told me I should probably test again because it looks more. I was taking mild medication so far but guess I’ll have to go on proper meds now. I’ll also have to test again. Argh.
I did a test for immunity and we found out that I have Hashimoto’s disease which is an autoimmune disease/disorder. My result was so comical. The normal range for something was 0-156 and my result was 1.7k. My result was over 10 times the highest normal result. I could not believe my eyes. So yeah, I’ve gone on a strict gluten-free diet* and I’m taking meds for it too.
Recently, a swelling has formed on the side of neck and after doing a bunch of tests**, we’ve found that it’s a cyst. It cannot be cured with medicines and I have to do a surgery. But, because it doesn’t give me pain, it’s purely cosmetic but if I don’t do a surgery then it might keep growing and also could get infected. Infection is bad, obviously. It’s apparently due to a birth defect and the swelling doesn’t appear normally, so I’m one of the lucky few for whom it does! Since I have finals now, we can’t do the surgery but maybe after finals.
*considering I’m not allergic to gluten but that I have to abstain by CHOICE is making this SO HARD. This diet cuts down 70% of foods that I eat. Because I’m Tamilian, it’s slightly easier to bear with at home since our foods are mostly rice items. But I really notice the difference when I’m out with my friends. I just watch them eat. It’s sad. I’m sad. I’m most sad about BHATURA and puri (Indian foods).
**I did an ultrasound scan for the swelling and they told me my thryroid increased. I want to focus at one problem at a time! And take fewer meds! LEAVE ME ALONE *cries*
Those were the three main things. Other than that, I have a bunch of allergies, PCOD and severe eczema which comes and goes. So yeah, I’d like another body please.
(Yes this was a rant session. At this point, I can rant for HOURS about my health issues. I needed to rant though.)
Random thing #4
I’m slightly stressed about next semester already. For Indian engineering students, year 4 is CRUCIAL. We get jobs then. We have to write a lot of tests, sit through interviews, and also attend classes, study and write exams. I’ve got to start studying for my exams for the jobs (we have aptitude and technical tests to show how smart we are and… I’m not smart). Aah. I want to scream.
The grind has to start right after exams because interviews start right in the beginning of August. And by beginning, I mean day 1. I’m preparing for the stress by stressing already so I can get used to it. (I’m trying out a new coping method, let me be.)
Random thing #5
I’m finally exercising regularly! I’ve been doing this for a few months now and I can feel the difference. I’ve been taking it slow, though, with small milestones but I’m doing it regularly and that’s all that matters.
Getting a workout in every evening after college was hard in the beginning because I would be super tired from the long day and travel. I also kept evenings as my “chill time” so I would read blogs or watch YouTube while drinking something. But I managed to make it routine and it’s easy now.
At this point, if I don’t go exercising in the evening, I feel off for the rest of the night. It’s weirdly energizing and refreshing too! I’m also glad that I somehow got rid of my self-consciousness which held me back from running in front of people before.
Random thing #6
I’m LOVING Jay Shetty’s podcast called On Purpose with Jay Shetty. I started listening to it on a recommendation from a friend and I immediately liked it. I haven’t been able to take out time regularly to listen to it but the episodes I have listened to, I’ve learned from.
There are always multiple things to learn or take from every single one of his podcast episodes. Even though it’s just audio, I find myself completely engaged in listening and absorbing.
I was dutch braiding my hair and listening to an episode last night as “self-care time” and I LOVED IT. I listened to the podcast at midnight and after that I was so energized and motivated to change my life immediately. To change for the better using what I’ve learnt in just half an hour. I couldn’t sleep so I ended up studying more for my upcoming final.
If you want to become motivated or energized, I definitely suggest listening to his podcast. Especially, listen to an episode which is not an interview because those episodes are solely focused on giving you advice and things to take away and apply immediately.
Okay that’s it.
I just checked the word count for the first time and I’ve written over 1.5k words. Wow. When I stop thinking twice about what I write—whether it’s easily readable, whether it’s attractive and engages the reader—words flow so freely. This is a form for self-care, for me. I needed this.
If you’ve read so far, THANK YOU. You’re the best ❤
Okay now YOU tell me. What’s going on in your life? And don’t hold back from rambling in the comments 🙂
It’s been SO LONG since I last posted a Sunday Post. I feel like I’ve got so much to say but also I don’t know how to even write it all anymore. It’s weird being back.
The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Caffeinated Book Reviewer to update our followers about our last week—be it about books, life or anything else.
Okay let’s start with..
I got an internship in January through a friend of mine from school. It’s at a start-up called Open My Book. It’s a mobile-based lending library where we rent out books to people! We’re now on Google Play Store so you should definitely check it out.
Anyway, I’ve been really enjoying my internship. It’s a little time-consuming, with me doing something or meeting people from the team around thrice a week, but it’s rewarding. I’m learning things and I’m getting advice so it’s pretty cool.
It’s also really filled up my schedule. I’m quite busy nowadays, what with internship, this blog, my Instagram handles, twitter etc. along with college. But I like it! For the first time, I’m this busy doing productive things while also enjoying with friends, so it’s really nice.
Hah more like my non-existent reading.
I get into a book slump every year at least once where I just don’t end up reading. This year it came pretty early. It’s all because I got a Netflix subscription and I’m bingeing on Kdramas like crazy.
Goodreads says I’m still somehow 2 books ahead on schedule for 150 books this year so.. I got time!
I also started reading On The Come Up by Angie Thomas yesterday at the bookstore while I was killing time before a meeting. I bought it because I trust Angie Thomas and I already like the book 32 pages in. Let’s hope it brings me out of my reading slump!
Yeah so I’VE GOT A LOT.
I watched My ID Is Gangnam Beauty, which I hadn’t planned on watching because I felt it’s controversial and doesn’t send the right message. Quite a few people told me to try it because they liked it so I did, and I actually liked it! It talks about a lot of issues such as body image, plastic surgery and the stigma that comes with it, pretty people privilege, beauty on the inside etc. I totally recommend it if you can handle the above topics.
I also watched The Girl Who Sees Scents. My mum was the one who showed me the trailer, actually! It came on her feed on Facebook and she called me over because I’m into Kdramas. It turned out to be quite good! I loved the beginning but I was disappointed in the last few episodes. The climaxes and reveals could have been executed in a much better way, in my opinion. I have mixed feelings about this drama.
I Am Not A Robot was the last drama that I completed. I finished it a couple days back. I absolutely loved it. While it has plot holes and some unbelievable things—more about human perception than the technology, I still really liked it. I loved the main characters and the plot was quite good. I recommend it if you want a funny and new drama to watch. It’s currently trending on Netflix.
Romance Is A Bonus Book is the ongoing drama that I’m watching. The drama’s last episode will be releasing tonight, in my time. I’m absolutely loving it because Lee Jong-suk is brilliant in it. He’s charming, adorable, and really attractive. I love his character in the drama. I also like the plot, which isn’t all that special, but it brings out feelings in me. At some parts the drama was quite slow but it’s not bad. I love that it’s mostly based in a book publishing company.
Netflix recommended Accidentally In Love and I thought it’s a Kdrama so I gave it a go. Turned out that it’s in Mandarin. The story looked pretty nice, though, so I continued watching.
It was really good until a little over halfway through the show. The last few episodes got really draggy. Overall, it wasn’t that great. The one thing I had a hard time with was connecting their speaking tone to the emotion that they’re trying to convey. The cast always spoke fast and, frequently, in high tones no matter what the situation was. I found it weird that they spoke the same way even when the emotions are different.
It was something new that I tried and it was okay. I probably won’t see another Mandarin show any time soon.
I think that’s all I’ve got to say this week? Honestly there must be more but my mind is full of the things I have to do today so I’ll end this post here.
How was your week? Any highlights? Tell me in the comments!
Hey everyone! It’s been forever since I’ve done a life update post, especially since I started doing “The Sunday Post” where I just talked about the past week’s events.
Warning: this post will probably be highly unstructured and is simply like a sit down talk. I’m really in the mood for something casual right now, and don’t feel like drafting it and revising it etc., so yeah.
First, what’s up with my blogging schedule?
I was keeping to my blogging schedule of posting blog posts three times a week for quite a long time. Probably months.
And then fifth semester of college hit me like a truck.
I kid you not, I have no clue what I did this semester and I have no idea why my time management SUCKED SO BAD. I didn’t even really use my bullet journal this time.
I’m so behind on my actual planning that I haven’t even set up my December set up yet. And my setup consists of two spreads only! The carefully curated schedule that I had which managed college, blogging and Instagram crumbled after a mere month into 5th sem.
Now I also really want to rant about this semester
To be honest, 5th sem started off wonky. I was doing an internship which overlapped the first 10 days of college. Hence I missed the first 10 days of classes in August, which immediately put me behind in basics of the subjects.
Then started the chaos of mini projects. I will tell you this, this semester has given so much BT. We did a mini project last semester and the problem statement was our choice. We had to do the same this time as well so all of us tried to pick good ones, especially since we needed to log in at least 20 days of work.
I went a little bit ambitious and took a project that uses Machine Learning. I took it because I started an online course on ML so I figured I can learn and apply it immediately.
And then. We got the news that we had to pick ANOTHER project. By this point we lost our shit.
Turns out the second mini project is actually required by the university as part of syllabus, and we weren’t explained to properly, so all of us boycotted and didn’t choose projects for it.
Only after we realized that it’s the one that’s important did we register with our problem statements and took it seriously. Of course, it also meant that a lot of people did not give a shit about the other mini project then.
It’s hard enough managing assignments, classes, extra-curriculars along with one mini project. We wouldn’t get any sleep if we did two.
But guESS WHAT. I ended up doing both. Which is why my schedule went into shambles.
Side note: this post is taking way too long to write because I’m on discord with my friends jamming to music and this is so nice (:
Okay yeah so, back to the point, I WAS STRESSED ALL SEMESTER. I have no clue how I managed all my subjects plus everything but I did. Which is why my blogging and Instagram slipped, blogging more than Instagram.
This hectic schedule pushed me to finally go themeless on my Instagram and I have to say, I’m having fun with it. I’m posting pictures taken outside, playing around with filters and scenes etc., so at least that’s a good turn.
My reading took a big hit as well so that’s sad. I got into a book slump which honestly didn’t make me upset because I didn’t have time to read/try to read? Yeah well anyway I had to lower my reading challenge of the year to 125 from 150 because I didn’t think I’d make it.
But on the good side..
This semester went pretty well too!
In terms of me socializing I was MUCH BETTER. I went to a book fair with two people whom I don’t really talk to in real life, I got along better with new people in group settings AND I managed to stay for over 24 hours in an event without losing my shit.
It doesn’t mean that I was completely fine in all settings, but I was better. And that’s good.
I also went to Burn The Stage and managed to not be overwhelmed by all the ARMYs there who had gathered to do events pre-screening.
While I don’t feel that I accomplished much overall in this semester, I did do small things every single week. Enough to make me feel busy. It’s never been this way before so this busy feeling is new, and I welcome it up to a point. If I didn’t feel like going to any more outings, I had no qualms about declining even though I might sound rude so that’s worked out well. I made sure to take breaks when I felt way too overloaded with work as well.
I took so many mental health days, it shows how my semester was this time.
I also had MULTIPLE DAYS where I spent around 10 hours on my laptop, doing my projects, and it put a lot of strain on my eyes. Even with glasses to help with the strain, my eyes, which are already weak as it is, turned completely red for two days after the work.
This is going to be my life later if I get into a programming job, which I’m hoping for, so might as well get used to it. Sigh.
My sleep schedule doesn’t exist anymore
I used to have a problem with sleeping in the afternoon until last year. If I slept in the afternoon, I got a headache, so I never did.
But last sem I started sleeping in the afternoons, only very few times, and I needed it so much then that I didn’t get a headache later.
This semester, I’ve been sleeping in the afternoons SO MUCH. Naps are my life right now.
My sleep schedule is: I sleep when I want to.
I have huge dark circles now. They’re ever present. I need to learn to do make up but I’m also scared to try because I have a lot of skin allergies and who knows what will set off a bad reaction. #sadlife
It’s not only me who’s got their sleep schedule messed up though. All my friends have no such thing called sleep schedule anymore. Right now three others and I are listening to music and recommending GREAT songs to each other on Discord, and one of them has a final tomorrow. But this feels so good so he hasn’t slept yet lol, and it’s 12:45am. We’re just listening to music, sometimes talking and sometimes not.
One of the friends, who has the exam tomorrow, said that things like this will be what he’ll miss once we leave college. And I agree. Another told that we can still do this but realistically, all of us will be busy and will mostly not be able to do this. Not only that, we might also not be in the mood for the same music. In fact this is the first time we’re doing this.
Right now we’re in sync and this is GREAT. I don’t mind staying up all night and listening to music like this, blogging or reading a book with it. Things like this make me grateful that I found really good friends. I was so worried when I joined college, about whether I’d get friends I’ll get along with well. And in first year, I didn’t. I kept drifting between friends and groups. I had lost expectations to find good friends to stick with but in third sem, I made a few and then I made a few more.
Right now, I’m in a really good place where I actually text first and seek out conversation with them. And I feel lucky for this every day because I know what it’s like to not have friends and feel alone.
I have a feeling quite a few of the songs we’re listening to will make it into my “songs on repeat” post at end of this month. We’re listening to SO MANY GREAT SONGS. And I love that they’re loving the songs I’m recommending. It’s a great feeling when others love the things you recommend whether it’s books, movies, songs or anything else.
Speaking of me recommending..
I’ve got TWO people who don’t really read books to read this semester! One of them asked for a recommendation and I lent her Girl Against The Universe by Paula Stokes and she really liked it! I’ve given her The Hating Game by Sally Thorne now, which is one of my favourites of this year. Hopefully she finishes reading it soon before I find time to sell back books.
The other person is a friend I’m more close to than the previous person. She has borrowed a book from me before but she’s too busy in her life and doesn’t find the time to read. She gave the book back without reading a word. This was MONTHS back.
Recently, now that I’ve gotten into BTS as well, we’ve had many conversations about fans, influence, stardom etc. And for the first time it went really deep and we spoke for HOURS recently. Funnily enough it happened when we skipped the last of our labs because no one felt like attending.
So we were talking and I was drawing parallels between ARMYs and the fans of “The Arc” in the book I Was Born For This by Alice Osman. I had read the book when she and another friend first got into BTS and were totally obsessed with them, and I wasn’t. So I was telling her about all the similarities and she wanted to hear more so I ended up telling her the summary of the book.
She liked it so much that she asked me for the book because she wants to read it, and she’s hooked. She’s been loving the book so far and she’s less than 1/4th in because of her busy life. But I’ve seen a few of her annotations (and she has MANY) where she just marks things similar in real life with BTS and ARMY. I’m so proud seeing her reading a book finally.
Okay I think I’ll stop here.
It’s 1:13am, all of us are still on Discord and the songs have gone into ones with more chorus and raw emotion instead of the hard and fast beats that we started with. We might transition into sad and nostalgic songs if we don’t stop soon lol.
I’ve written 1.7k words wow. Too long. Better stop.
What’s new in your life? Are you stressing out or having fun with friends? Let me know in the comments!
Every time I think I can’t feel more exhausted than now, life proves me wrong. And I’m pretty sure I have a while to go before I hit my max exhaustion level, so until then, I’m going to complain.
Welcome to another Sunday Post where I talk about my past week! This meme was created by Caffeinated Book Reviewer and is the perfect meme for me talk about random things, all in one place.
College is hitting me hard
Daydreaming in class like (featuring my friend Sabby in college).
Honestly, what the eff. I thought I was bombarded with things last semester but it’s NOTHING compared to this semester. I’m apparently supposed to do 2 mini projects (together amounting to 30 days of effort), complete an online course (I took one of 43 hours of videos) AND do well in my subjects?
I get tired just by thinking about everything.
If I try, I’m sure I have time to do all of these but the problem is that they don’t leave me with any time to do other things I like. For example blogging and bookstagram (I’ll somehow manage reading). And I need these hobbies to loosen up and relax. For people who are completely devoted to the major, this might me a welcome challenge but I only like the major. I’m someone who likes doing many things.
Currently coping with the stress by procrastinating.
So yeah, I’m worried about my semester guys.
I was sick last week
I had cough and cold and am only now beginning to become better. This meant that I missed even more classes and I’m having a harder time catching up on the curriculum. I’m already behind because I didn’t attend several days of classes due to my internship, and now this.
My first internal exams are almost upon me (September 7th, apparently) and I just found out about it today. I’m screwed.
While I was sick, I managed to start a new Kdrama and that was Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo! I finished it a couple days back and I really liked it! Very adorable with cool MCs.
My friends and I started watching a Kdrama together and that’s Kill Me Heal Me. I’ve finished three episodes until now and let’s hope I take it slowly because I have other things to do as well i.e. the things I complained about above. This Kdrama seems to be thriller so that’s good! I’ve only seen more of romance lately.
I read Crazy Rich Asians this week so that I can get to the movie and I’ll be honest, I didn’t like it. I quite hated it, actually. Yeah it’s all about rich people but daamn the amount of politics and negativity was pissing me off. I don’t read books for all that drama. I haven’t seen the movie yet and I hope it’s better.
I also read Radio Silence by Alice Osman yesterday and it was really good! A good one to read after the disappointing Crazy Rich Asians. I’ve had this book for a while now because I got it immediately once I saw a reader I follow being completely obsessed with it. I definitely recommend it but only if you’re ready for high school and teenage stories with the high school hazy vibe. I’m going to talk a lot about the vibe in my review, which will be up soon!
I got people to watch TATBILB!
To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before movie is my new obsession and I’ve been talking about it non-stop ever since it released. I got three friends to watch it and they loved it as well! Slowly going to make everyone watch.
I have a LOT. I didn’t really use my bullet journal this month because I wasn’t sure what spreads I wanted since I didn’t start college until later, so I’ve been terribly disorganized. I’ve been a MESS this month. Can’t wait to set up for next month in a new book and get my life together.
But for this week, I’m writing the to-do list here which, hopefully, will make me responsible to complete them:
Download software for mini project. Not too hard. Just need to install.
Buy textbooks! More like textbook because I’m planning to get only one this semester and wing the rest of the subjects with notes. I’m actually heading out today to do this. I’m also selling back seven books from the past two semesters lol.
Do two hours of online course minimum. I have 43 hours to do and I’ve only done 1 hour yet. I’ll finish when the next academic year starts, at this pace. Need to pick up. Actually planned on doing it last night but I remembered that I need to write a blog post for today. Also procrastination.
Set up bullet journal for September. Really REALLY need to do this one.
Shift back home. I’m currently in a different house because my place was getting renovated. Will be shifting back this week! Can’t wait to be done with that.
Okay that’s all the big things. I’m sure more will pop up during the week. Wish me luck!
Wow surprisingly this post is less that 1k words! All the previous Sunday Posts were long lol. How was your week? How have you been faring so far, with whatever you’re doing?